Welcome to grown-up hood

Welcome to the world of being an adult. I thought I was off to a great adulthood at 20 when I decided to brave the world on my own without the help or advice of my parents. I did great... sorta. I don't like being a grown, especially the financial part of it. Being a kid was great. I didn't have to worry about paying bills, buying a house, raising a kid or interest rates. Life was good. I never really knew my parents to be in very good financial standing but they always did what they could to provide for my brother and I. The most we had to worry about was maintaining grades and friends. Oh, how I miss the days.

My husband and I are now currently staring down the gun barrel of bankruptcy. Some think we will shoot ourselves in the feet and create a worse situation and some think that we are doing what's best for us. We've made mistakes and we are afraid to admit it, but we have also been hit with some unexpected stuff too.

We hadn't planned on having children for a couple of years but lo-and-behold, the birth control didn't work for whatever reason and nine months into our marriage, we were expecting. What an exciting time... a baby! We didn't know what we were in for. Luckily there were no hospital bills thanks to Medicaid. But, Tommy had to quit school so he could work more. Of course at the baby shower we got a bunch of clothes that were cute all right... but out of season. A friend gave us a crib and the in laws got us the stroller. We were on our own for every thing else. neither one of our parents or siblings really wanted to sink money into helping us provide for our bundle of joy, so we relied on credit cards to get what we needed. This was the best option considering that quitting school results in repayment of student loans.

In 2006 we got the itch to buy a house. Everyone was doing it and the professionals were telling us that a mortgage payment was so much better than paying rent. So we went for it. We fell in love with a little bungalow downtown. With all the renovations downtown, we thought it was a no-brainer. It's a 100 year old fixer-upper... move a couple walls, redo the kitchen and bathrooms, a couple coats of paint and we've flipped a house baby! Not so fast... we closed without a hitch. Started the clean-up project (since it was a rental) and found out that we'd have to gut the basement (it was nasty and not livable by our standards) and rewire the entire house. It's nice that the inspector missed some very important things like asbestos.
So we bought a money pit. We did what we needed to get in and spent a lot of money. We have also noticed that the foundation has a lovely sized crack around the whole parameter of the basement that causes the underneath of our house to turn into an Olympic size pool! (I should make some money off this) OK, that's an exaggeration, but there is a lot of water, every time it rains. We have already spent so much trying to fix it. We realize that by the time we put more money into fixing this nightmare abode, we will never make a return. We made a mistake. A mistake with the house, mistake with credit cards, bought a TV, and had 2 surgeries that insurance wouldn't pay over $4000. What else is there to do?

Just like most middle-classers, we are feeling the heat of rising gas prices and groceries. We make too much to get help on housing, day care, anything, but we are barely making enough to keep our heads above water. Thank you George Bush and all your wonderful Republican policies. Of course we aren't in recession because you and all your oil friends are doing fiiiinne!

It's bankruptcy. That's it... the only option. We've already cut back on groceries, entertainment, utilities and basic needs. There is nowhere else to cut. Also, my job is being threatened and I'm being forced to quit, which is a whole other story. The only jobs in this stupid town that are 8-5 and don't require a degree, don't pay much. So, I'm going from about $16 an hour to $8.

Am I a bad person? I don't think so. We made bad decisions and being a grown-up has kicked us in the ass. So, here we are, in the process of filing... letting the house go, getting a new job. I'm nervous and relieved at the same time. My husband feels horrible about it. I'm used to it. My parents have filed twice in my 28 years. Here we go living in a crumby duplex and shopping a dollar stores and riding our bikes more.

I'm ready for a fresh start. I'm so thankful that I live in a country that allows this. I'm not the most proud of it but don't feel defeated either. Good thing we're young. We've learned our lesson. A very valuable one. Don't take advantage of what you have and plan for the future no matter how easy or rough you thing it will be.