War... what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

I love Oprah. I guess it's the woman in me. Anyway, I was listening to the Oprah channel on my XM radio this morning and it was the Gail King show. She had Eve Ensler on as the guest. She is the lady that wrote "The Vagina Monologues" and other books. I love this woman. They were discussing the NBC Morning show from a couple of days ago where Merideth Vierra had to apologize b/c she asked Jane Fonda to do one of the pieces from the monologue called "reclaiming the cunt". I guess it offended some. Eve made a comment that really made me think. We get offended by words like cunt, pussy, etc. which only are mere words for vagina. But, no one gets bothered by words like bomb (unless you're on a plane), war, acid rain, RAPE... Isn't sad that in the 21st century the leader of the free will still has a great amount of people offended by a fucking body part and not the idea of people and children being violated, maimed and killed? I know there are some people out there that have a heart but here in the midwest they seem to be few and far between. People here seem to care more about stopping loving gay people from having normal lives and human rights, and keeping women from making decisions on their own bodies like abortion. (By the way all you pro-lifers, hope you aren't on birth control or support b/c it's the same damn thing!) Here they car more about getting shit for cheap by having about as many Wal-marts as there are churches. We have a 2 within 2 miles of each other. Call me crazy but I think that maybe if our country is the leader of the so-called free world then maybe we could act like it and care a little more when women are getting raped in our own military (and around the world), children are being sold as sex slaves, and what blows my mind is that the one place that people are so dissillusioned into believing is a safe place to raise their kids is actually a haven for pedophiles and rapists... church! I think that America has her priorities backwards. Why do we have to Americanize the rest of the world? Why not feed the world and educate them to make civilized decisions? Why don't we take care of our own unfortunate? There are many, many of our soldiers committing suicide and going mental from the war over seas... what are we doing about it? We send more over!! ay.... Get it together people... if we don't take care of our brothers and sisters who will? We all share this planet together, war isn't the answer. Most of the world is more civilized than that so, the countries that are.... let's act like it.

Ignorance is Bliss

Ah, the days of being ignorant. Sometimes not a bad thing especially in the eyes of a 6 year old. Sometimes I wish I could have those years back just with different parents. No bills to worry about; interest rates, inflation, insurance. Remembering when losing weight wasn't even a thought. The worst thing in the world was missing out on dessert or losing my favorite toy.
Last June we took our son to the park. We all were on the swings. The air was warm on my skin. The sunshine lit up the grass so green it looked like it was glowing. I remember thinking to myself that I could just stay in that moment. Remembering the innocence of no concern.

Now I'm a grown-up, not even 30. I've had a kid. I've gained weight. My boobs are starting to droop. I'm stressed that I'm up to my eyeballs in debt. My mind is constantly going ninety to nothing with thoughts, ideas and concerns. Am I being a good enough parent? Am I meeting my husbands needs? Did I finish the laundry? When was the last time I swept the floor? I think next week I will paint, fix or decorate this or that. Where am I going to come up with the money for that?

Then there is the job, which requires a whole other brain in itself. Where do I come in?
When it's all done it's just time to start all over again. Is this it? Will I be happy with this? Is it temporary? Will my husband really finish school and become the molecular biologist that we are spending money for him to become? Will we ever be out of debt? Will my son ever take me seriously? When will I get to blossom? When do I come into the equation?
I feel like I've been lost in someone else's world, not mine.

Let's get Political

I am an Obama supporter. I could almost say that I have a crush on him... not in a romantic way at all. Kinda like when guys have man-crushes but they aren't gay, they just really admire a certain other dude. I like this dude. It has nothing to do with his race, although having a first black president would be a cool thing to witness in my life time. I like his promises. I say promises b/c he is a politician and it would be naive of me to believe he or anyone will do as they promised.
I am one of the many Americans ready for change. I am young. This is only my 2nd time voting for a president. The 1st time I voted for Bush. At the time I thought I was making the right decision. I was a conservative Christian. Or at least I was trying to be. I did lean a little more pro-choice but never told anyone. I am not a conservative nor a Christian anymore. I will get into that in another blog. What I do want to get out right now is the whole idea of "separation of church and state." I am definately going democrat this time around. I don't mind McCain all too much b/c he is a little more liberal than the others. But Huckabee makes my skin crawl. Even when I was a Christian I still understood that this country is very diverse and if I had a political view b/c of my religious views it would be unfair to push that on other people. Like the right to abortion and stem cell research. I get so ticked when people start touting "this country was founded on Biblical principles and our forefathers were Christians, blah, blah, blah..." Yes our money has "in God we trust" and our pledge of allegiance says "one nation under God" but doesn't anyone know that those things were ADDED in the middle of the 1900's? Unfortunately, I didn't even know. I remember a lot from school but not that. Did I ever know that or did I suspect it was there from the inception of their hosts? Did anyone know that a big handful of our founding fathers where NOT Christian? Shocker! Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison and more were only Deists (believe in a higher power but hold no religious institution) and even Thomas Paine was an atheist. I wish this kind of stuff could be taught in schools, not creationism. Now, onto what I was getting at. Has anyone seen Huckabee's speeches? He wants to change the constitution to meet his god's standards! Now my problem is pretty obvious... but what I think the American people that are voting for him should know is that as a politician he should know his American history and know that this country is not Christian (look up Treaty of Tripoli, article 11. Go on, look it up). What he is wanting to do is create a dictatorship. I wonder if this is what happened in the middle east. Did someone say "I am going to make this country abide by Allah's law". Hmmm, makes me wonder. Does anyone put these two together?

Religion has no place in politics. Period. It's a scary thing when it does. Take the ten commandments out of court rooms and schools. It isn't stopping people from committing crimes or keeping our kids out of trouble. By the way, unless you observe the sabbath along with the other 9, you should probably agree with me or you would be a big hypocrite... wouldn't ya? Ok, here's a compromise... put the 10 commandments up along with every other religious creed from every other faith practiced in America. Oh... that would be rediculous. Right.
Also, stop making people swear on a Bible, fine if you're a Christian but I'm scared what would happen to me being an atheist if I ever had to testify. Would my words immediately be considered rubbish b/c of my lack of belief?

I guess my point is that this country is founded on freedom... especially religious freedom. I will support anyone who grants that to me as an unbeliever and protects me. Christians think they are the ones persecuted in this country but let me tell ya... they aren't. Christians do most of the persecuting. I used to be one of them. I thought I was persecuted if a non-believer rejected me. But what the hell was I doing?
Keep your religious views in church and I will keep my infidel ways to myself, but force your beliefs on the rest of us then expect retaliation. Thank you!

First Blog

So, this is the first blog. Actually, my 3rd attempt at blogging but my 1st on this site. Maybe I can finally express who I really am. I started a Xanga 3 years ago... didn't like it. Then came Myspace. I frequent that website. However, there are some people that keep finding me on there and I'm not quite sure how I feel about them. They are dear, sweet people (like the kids from the last church we attended) but my life has changed so much and I think that I wouldn't be able to express my thoughts and feelings w/o them going ape shit all over my page. I'm a people pleaser, what can I say? I just think that my old Master's Commission friends (Google it, I don't feel like explaining) and church friends might have some concern to find out that I have back-slidden a little. What the hell... I don't even believe in "back-sliding". I call it enlightenment. The moment when all the questions and doubts stack up and then explode into that "aha! Now I get it!" moment. All these things in my brain are just dying to get out into the world. Sometimes I hold some reservation as to who I share with. Why tell some one your deepest thoughts for them to either laugh or get mad. I just want someone to understand. I don't expect agreement but please have a little respect!! This is where I want to rant, bitch, complain, whine, and get damn right self-righteous. It's freedom of speech! So, here goes....